Thursday, October 7, 2010

Percy's Progress Report

Dear Percy Jackson,
Below is your progress report for the summer, which will be sent home to your parents. We are happy to report that your marks are passable, so you will not be fed to the harpies at the present time. Please review and sign for our records.
Sincerely,
Chiron, activities director and Dionysus, camp director
Activity Grade Comments
Monster-Maiming A Percy shows great aptitude at lopping off limbs.
Defence B Percy almost got killed several times this summer. Good job! He needs to concentrate on minding his surroundings and not getting bitten by poisonous scorpions.
Sword fighting A+ Percy’s sword skills are excellent. However, it would be better if he could fight without dousing himself in salt water first.
Team Spirit C Percy gets in occasional fights with his fellow campers. We would like him to remember that Clarisse’s head does not belong in the barbecue pit.
Greek Speak C Percy is making progress with Ancient Greek. Unfortunately, on his final exam he translated “The great Achilles took the field.” as “My grandfather’s hamburger is nasty.” Keep trying.
Chariot Racing A In Percy’s last race, he not only won but left most of the other chariots in flames. Well done!
Foot Racing C- Needs improvement. Percy is still slower than the nymphs, and this is while they are in tree form.
Archery C- Needs improvement. On the bright side, Percy is firing fewer stray arrows. He has not shot any of his fellow campers in weeks.
Javelin Throwing B Percy has been practicing! His last throw almost hit the target. True, he knocked a bronze bull’s head off, but that is easily fixed.
Rock Climbing A Percy excels at rock climbing. Perhaps it’s because he does not enjoy falling in the lava below.

Signed: ___________________________________________